Big Change

I’ve been quiet here for nearly a year.

To pick this back up by recounting what has happened over the course of the last few months doesn’t feel right. On some level, this is reassuring. For once, I’m not looking back.

Likewise, the inclination to explain why I’ve returned to this or what I hope to accomplish isn’t there.

So, for the sake of providing some context for what may follow, I will say this: in the wake of thirty days of little changes, I made a very big change. I left Winnipeg and stepped into the unknown.

If you came along for the ride last year, welcome back. If you’re new here, welcome.

It’s good to be home.

Day 30: Celebrate

A very long walk, meditation, something bubbly, a treat. My kind of celebration.

Today’s little change was to mark an occasion. I don’t think I would have ever thought of this as something new, but at the end of a year where reasons to celebrate have been especially hard to come by, I decided that marking the end of thirty days of doing new things and documenting them here would probably feel pretty new, and it does.

There are two things my mind is enjoying right now: a sense of accomplishment, something that has been equally hard to come by in the last year, and the thrill of having formed a new habit. At least I think I may have. Some say that it takes twenty-one days to form a habit, I have also heard that it takes much longer; either way, I can’t imagine not making the effort to do something new tomorrow.

Day 29: Study

I’ll be honest: today felt very full. Too full. Squeezing a little something new in was tricky, but I did it! I’m one day away from the end of this funny commitment to myself and I think it’s safe to say that, that if nothing else, I’ve learned how to carve out some time for something out of the ordinary. It feels good.

When I added today’s little change to my list, I thought that I would dedicate a full day to it. Total immersion in the work of someone I admire. I had wanted to do a bit of research and a bunch of sketching. Instead, I did a little less than a bit of both, which I still feel pretty good about, because it’s a start on something I’ve been meaning to do for ages.

Day 28: Less

Some little changes feel like the biggest challenges.

When I moved to Winnipeg, I didn’t know how long I was going to stay. Maybe a year, three at most. My existence here was going to be efficient. Ephemeral.

It’s been a decade and the things that were supposed to be temporary have become permanent. They’ve moved with me once. I’ve since accumulated more, not too much, just enough to feel weighed down.

Today marked the start of a very big decluttering project. 

Day 27: Treat

When I made my list, I added “treat yourself”. What I meant by that was to treat myself to something new and delightful. A reward for nothing. A treat. Instead, I spent the day treating a persistent headache. I’m just learning how not to grit my teeth through this sort of pain, so this is new in a sense. Screen time is strictly regulated on days like today. More tomorrow.